A las ratas con tres patas y a mis comadres Las Chillonas, Chingonsísimas Mujeres/To the three-legged rats and my comadres Las Chillonas, Chingonsísimas Mujeres. Rated G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17: To all ethnicities, including white people. Breathe in out. Take breaks in between stanzas. Read responsibly.Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Note: Her bionic ears catch a 150 radius of whispering voices. The last time the Super Self broke away from Herself—the gitano in her slithered in English and punched with ?Paz! ?Pum! which brought out the Chinese in Her with a Hi-yah! I. Mother and Father TongueYou say English ONLYand I fart in your face with Spanishy no un peditoun PEDOTE as bigas the Man-fested DestinedUnited States of the World. Thats like taking the burgerking out of youand the jumpingbean in mesomersaulting over 10steel walls for a bitter tasteof strawberries, grapes andoranges so that the governor cancount on his daily dose of antioxidants. Are you still stuck on the pedo?Lets not be so privy, now,neither the you in menorthe me in youcould live withouta pot of Aunt Marie Claireschili beans. So dont you dare tell me toSpeak English Only,”so you can cacklein my face andcall me Spick. Cause Im ambidextrous,I can punch with my leftJab with my right I can hook with my leftAnd upper cut with my right Spanish! (?Pum!) English (Punch!)English (Pow!) Spanish (?Paz!) Two colonizing languageslasso the tip of my tongue.A Spanish Conquistadora, tearing noses and earsAn English Imperialist, forcing pencil and pen Was robbed one languageWont lose two But at night voices speak—Plants, rose bushescaress my hands andhips as I walk by;the Moon and abuelas indigenoustrenzas unbraid storiesas we lullaby the deadto sleep. So dont you dare tell me toSpick English Only”Not the President; not you!Easier for the Presidentto learn Spanish to steal anelection through His Panicpopulation than me toforget espa?ol—not today, nottomorrow, not my nieces and nephews,not the brown buffalo children,Amig@.And if I could, I would speak all the languagesin the world from Swahili, to Chinese, and from Sanskritto Arabic.II. Malinche de USA in High HeelsAnd they ask, Do your feet hurt?”She answers, Did you wear braces . . .?” Lets justsay Im not nailing my foot to a cross. Lets justsay it pained your mother much more to get you out. Hurt? ?Dolor? Pain??Qué? She was born with flat feet—condemned to peace on Earth. Notgood enough to kill (What a shame).Learned not to tippytoe throughbroken glass but to walk on shattered glass.You say I can only get so far in high heels. Let me just show you how far these high heels can think. Airport uniform commands,Excuse me Mam. Take off your boots.” ?Quién yo?” Are you suspicious of my innocent little black boots?” Fingers inspect, trace the sharp angles and curves.Officer just wanted to sniff my boots and make sure they dontsmell like 3” fungatoed bound feet. And dont you dare call me se?oritabecause when youdo, you minimize my vagina tothe size of a se?oritassacred glory hole. This bodys not forsilent potato bags against the ribsand goose filled pillows over the face,not for vagina, and breastmutilation in hieroglyphicborders, lit allies and toy parks—atHis dispense and pleasure. Causeat this serialkiller pace, menwill outnumber Mother Naturesgirl: boyratio.III. On Stares Is it her hair?(He)r ass?Her shoes?Her oily face? Her h(air)—not a bad perm. A blackwidows nest thatswims in water. More than QueenElizabeth in spiteof her menstruation—hairthat comes from a Moorishpast—Africa. Lets just say this is not the Virgen de Guadalupes hair.Loose hair that doesntconform to hairspray, gel andmousse. Is it the Ass? (No wonder Catholic nuns and Muslim women cover their ass!)Settle down now, whats all the humpingCockledoodledoo , quiriquiquí, growling,huffing and puffing,you havent evenseen the cellulite onthe right cheek! (By the way, I take after mi apa).Ive seen nalgas, asses, culos; Ive seen dimples andcraters the size of your blind eyes. Shoes? Let me fuck you slow,(Fornicate Under Command of the King” justin case you forgot!) Let me take off my boot andtake the end of my high heel and stab and gougeyour eyeball outwith my pointyspike, so youcan enlighten yourselflike Oedipus with Iocastas brooches.(Dont fuck your Mama; ?chinga tu padre!) And after, Strike your photograph throughwith my steel heel and nail you onyour wind shield. The oily face?You called my grandfather greaser. Butwhos the real Mr. and Mrs. Tacowith every Adalbertos,Robertos, Edibertosand Jilibertos on Invisible andMan Street. Maybe, Im way off; its the Richard Rodríguez negro skinthat tells you I dont belong; hold onto your purse; hold on to your bratscause they call me Llorona too. Ta ta Llorona. Lets gulp tequila or sip wine, and green lemon (lime) n salt or cheese if you wish. Cheers! ?Salud! Muito obrigada e um abra?o! Hasta la vista, Baby. . . . Got to read the streets and walk through the books. tic tac tac tic tic tac tac tic