You discover them every day,Leaning toward you, trying not to laugh. As guilty
Of the truth you never told
As of the truth you share, your faceIs huge with secrets
You pretend to avoid
On your way to your next class, next dinner, nextAmazingly mortifying sweater. Even your sweaters
Smell of secrets: fire
Stuffed in a drawer, music charredBy prayers you thought were yours, happiness
Burning in books
Hurled across the room, a hideousMix of discount jewelry
That leaves burst marks on your kids.
You think you are passingAs a normal person,
Being silly, talking on the phone, giving
The gift of painTo the family that needs you,
That makes you feel
Broken and elegant,Like a cherry on a sword.
Your friends see you
As completely lost, a menorah of need and loveLaughing hysterically
At the top of the discount jewelry.
You glance back. You want to pretendTo be a total person, a model
Of truth, an amazing parent,
But you are fallingInto the crack
In the charred foundation
You thought was happiness.The discount jewelry chose
Never to reveal
Spill across the landscapeOf the love
You thought you would never give,
Laughing like dolphinsStuffed in a drawer
Inviting you to swim.